On 16personalities.com they use a Meyers-Briggs personality type hybrid that uses 5 traits. Each of the 5 traits is a spectrum with a percentage value for the spot where you land. That means that there are 100 possible options for each of the 5 traits. The result is 10 billion unique personality types that are possible. There are around 7 billion people in the world. Each trait is measured more simply as being dominant in one direction or the other which results in the need for fewer explanations of the results that you get. This is an example of the common ground that we can find while still being unique.
Even if people are more same than different, each of us is unique. As such, we each have something different to offer the other members of humanity. Furthermore, that which we have to offer is also of value. The degree of sameness that we all share is simply the means by which we can connect to other humans for the opportunity to share our unique offering with them and they with us.
One thing that I have seen happen time and again is for society to emphasize the importance of one thing at the expense of another. We seem to be an “OR” society instead of an “AND” society. If I talk about uniqueness and fitting in, most will look at those two things as diametrically opposed. If you are one of those, let me challenge you with this. Can you be unique while still fitting in? Can you fit in while still being unique? I say yes. You see, the fitting in is where you connect with people on common ground. We all seek the joy of community. The uniqueness is where you have the opportunity to something of value to those people with whom you have connected. We all seek to understand our sense of self.
If you live with an “OR” mentality, you either achieve clarity of self at the expense of being able to connect with others OR you achieve a connection with others at the expense of adding value. In essence, you can only mature one side of each of your dichotomies at a time because OR always favors one at the expense of another.
If you live with an “AND” mentality, you have the opportunity to develop both sides because they no longer have a dichotomous relationship. Instead, they have a symbiotic relationship. Each builds up the other. The success of one is vital to the success of the other.
Now you see how you can be unique AND the same and that each can make the other better. Now it’s time to start really digging in to what makes you unique. What is that one-of-a-kind piece of who you are that can leverage your sameness to add value to your community?
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